Алексей Каптерев (kapterev) wrote,
Алексей Каптерев

Пост-отпускной Monty Python

What's the point of going abroad, if your just going to be treated like a sheep? Spending four days on the tarmac at Luton Airport on a five-day package store with nothing to eat but dry sandwhiches. And you can't even get a glass of Rodney's Red Barrel because you're still in England with the bloody bar closes every time you're thirsty. And the kids are crying and vomiting and breaking the plastic ashtrays. They keep telling you won't be another hour, but you know damn well your plane is still in Iceland, because it had to turn back, trying to take a party of Swedes to Yugoslavia. Of course it loads you up there at 3 a.m. in the morning. And then you sit on the tarmac for four hours because of unforeseen difficulties, i.e. the permanent strike of airtraffic control over Paris. When you finally get to Malaga airport, everybody's cueing for the bloody toilet, and cueing for the bloody half-customs officers, and cueing for the bloody bus that isn't there, waiting to take you to the hotel that hasn't yet been built. When you finally get to the half-built ruin called the Hotel Limassol, while paying half the holiday money to a license Spaniard in a taxi, there's no water in the pool, there's no water in the bath, there's no water in the tap, there's only a bleeding lizard in the bid‚ and half the rooms are doublebooked, and you can't sleep anyhow, 'cause the permanent are in the jungles in the hotel next door. Meanwhile, the Spanish National Tourist Board promises that the raging cholera epidemic is merely a mild outbreak of the Spanish Conleigh, while the like of the previous outbreak in 1616 even the bloody rats are dying from it! Meanwhile, the bloody guardia are arresting 16-yearolds for kissing in the streets everybody's buying awful little horrid donkeys with their names on, and when you finally get to Manchester, there's only another bloody bus to carry you another 60 miles...

Дочитали? Так вот, на наш отпуск это вообще не похоже :)
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